Proverbs 31:3 – Don’t Waste Your Strength: A Reflection for Women

You’re reading the Proverbs 31 Series! This reflection builds on the previous post, so you may want to catch up first: [Proverbs 31:2 – Listen, Daughter: You Are an Answered Prayer].

“Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.” – Proverbs 31:3 (NIV)

This verse is more than a passing warning. It is a call to live intentionally and wisely. These were the words of a mother to her son, King Lemuel. She knew that even the most powerful men could fall not because of armies or enemies, but because of misplaced affections and wasted strength.

But this wisdom isn’t just for men. As women, we also carry God-given strength: emotional depth, spiritual insight, mental sharpness, and unique talents. The question is, how are we using that strength?

Are You Giving Your Strength Away?

This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s about the friendships, habits, conversations, and even relationships that slowly drain us.

Ask yourself:

• Am I pouring my strength into relationships that don’t honor God?
• Am I trying to “fix” someone who is not aligned with my purpose?
• Am I investing my energy and finances into someone who isn’t pursuing God or me with intention?

Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV): “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”

Too often, we give our best years to people or situations that pull us away from God’s plan. But that fear of being alone or never being loved again doesn’t come from God. It comes from forgetting who we are in Him.

I once found myself in a relationship that I knew was not glorifying God. It was ungodly, unrighteous, and did not honor Him in any way. Deep down, I recognized this, yet the fear of being alone or the uncertainty of whether I would ever find love again kept me holding on far longer than I should have.

Looking back, I realize how easy it is for us to cling to relationships that neither honor God nor respect who we are. Fear often makes us settle, convincing us to stay in places we were never meant to remain. But this is not God’s best for us.

God calls us to trust Him even in seasons of loneliness, silence, and waiting. He is in control, and He promises to make a way where there seems to be no way. The question is, are we willing to surrender those ungodly relationships and allow Him to lead us into what He has prepared for us?

You Are a Daughter of the King

When you know your identity in Christ, it changes everything. You stop settling for confusion, inconsistency, and disrespect.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)

As daughters of the King, we must remember our worth. Loyalty doesn’t mean staying where peace and purity are gone. Compromise that costs your relationship with God is not noble. It is dangerous.

Let’s Talk About Purity

The world may call purity outdated, but God still calls us to holiness in body, mind, and spirit.

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 (NIV)

If a relationship constantly pushes you to compromise, it is not from God. A godly man will protect your purity, not pressure you. He will help guard your walk with Christ, not weaken it.

Stop Wasting What’s Meant to Build You

We waste strength when we give ourselves to relationships, habits, or even jobs that drain us instead of building us.

Instead of holding onto potential or ignoring red flags, we must ask: “Lord, what is Your will concerning this person?”

And when the answer is clear, obedience often means walking away.

Let Your Strength Be Sacred

Your time, emotions, body, finances, and dreams are sacred. They are not meant to be poured out carelessly.

“Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15–16 (NIV)

As women, we sometimes drain ourselves emotionally, financially, or mentally over people or situations that were never God’s will. But Proverbs 31 wisdom begins with knowing what not to do.

Women Can Ruin Kings, And That Means I Can Too

Scripture shows us both sides of feminine influence. Women like Delilah and Jezebel led men astray, while women like Abigail, Deborah, and Mary uplifted God’s purposes.

Influence is powerful, but without godly wisdom, it is dangerous.

So I ask myself:

• Am I the kind of woman who builds up, or one who distracts and drains?
• Am I helping others fulfill their calling, or pulling them away from it?

What Does Your Budget Say About You?

Strength is not only emotional or spiritual, it is also financial. Our money tells a story.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21 (NIV)

Are you spending in ways that glorify God, or in ways that reflect desperation, fear, or people-pleasing?

Final Encouragement

You are not called to live drained or confused. You are not called to waste your strength. You are called to rise, to live with clarity, and to walk as a woman who knows her worth in Christ.

Your strength is a gift. Protect it. Guard it. Use it for the glory of God. And never spend it chasing what God never sent.

What about you, my lovelies? Have you ever found yourself giving your strength away where you shouldn’t? How did God help you through it? Share your thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!