Strength in Sorrow: A Proverbs 31:6 Reflection on Finding True Comfort in God

“Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish.” – Proverbs 31:6 (NIV)

At first glance, this verse feels almost jarring. King Lemuel’s mother had just warned her son not to drink because a leader’s mind must remain clear. Then she adds, “Alcohol is for the dying and wine for those in bitter distress”. (NLT)

She’s making a clear contrast: alcohol doesn’t belong in the hands of kings and leaders. It belongs to those who are perishing, those in deep anguish, those who have given up hope. But what does this mean for us today, especially as women of God preparing for the life He has called us to?

The Danger of Numbing Ourselves

Wine and strong drink are not meant for God’s people. They are for those who are perishing, people who do not know God and seek comfort in the wrong places. The world says, “Drink away your pain,” but that’s not the way of Christ.

When a woman of God turns to alcohol, it often reveals pain that still needs healing. The enemy loves to use numbing as a foothold in our lives. Alcohol may bring temporary relief, but when the numbness fades, the pain always returns, often stronger.

And numbing doesn’t stop with alcohol. It can take many forms: pornography, masturbation, overeating, entertainment, or even busyness. Anything that distracts us from God and keeps us from facing the truth can become our “wine.”

I’ve had to ask myself honest questions:
“What am I using to numb my pain? Does it glorify God? Does it heal me or keep me stuck?”

God never called us to escape pain. He calls us to draw near to Him so He can comfort and heal us.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The Bible’s Answer to Pain

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NIV)

Unlike alcohol or distractions, God’s comfort heals deeply. It doesn’t just mask the pain, it restores. When I’ve tried to distract myself, I’ve only felt emptier. But when I’ve leaned into God’s presence, even through tears, His peace settled my heart in a way nothing else could.

Lemuel’s mother was wise. She knew that a leader cannot live dulled by the world’s escapes. And as daughters, sisters, and women of God, neither can we.

My Personal Journey with Alcohol

My parents were never really into drinking, though my dad drank occasionally. This made me desire a man who also doesn’t drink much or not at all, if possible. Over time, I made the same decision for myself: alcohol would have no place in my life.

But it wasn’t always easy. I once worked in a bar, and though I told myself I wouldn’t drink, being in that environment slowly wore me down. I started tasting, then drinking, until it became a regular habit.

The turning point came when I left that environment. Once I stepped out, my life began to shift. By God’s grace, I haven’t touched alcohol for almost fifteen years now. That season taught me that sometimes, freedom starts by walking away from certain places, relationships, or habits that keep pulling us back.

Breaking Generational Cycles

I’ve seen how alcohol destroys families. Children suffer deeply when parents are trapped in addiction. Homes marked by drunkenness are often filled with instability and pain that can linger for generations.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” – Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)

Alcohol abuse is one way the enemy deceives women into tearing down what they’re called to build. But we are called to be wise, builders of life and legacy. That’s why it’s so important to deal with emotional pain before marriage and motherhood. If we don’t heal now, we risk carrying unhealthy coping habits into our future homes.

Recognizing the Real Issue

Drinking is not the root, it’s the symptom. The real issue is often unresolved pain and a search for comfort outside of God. When we see a woman struggling with alcohol or any addictive habit, it’s not a time for judgment, it’s a time for compassion.

God sees the brokenness behind every attempt to numb the pain. He doesn’t shame us; He invites us closer.

Choosing Presence Over Numbing

Life will always bring seasons of sorrow and uncertainty. The real question is: “How will I respond?” Will I numb myself or will I lean into God’s presence?

One of the most transformative seasons of my life came when I stopped running from pain. Instead of escaping, I invited God into it. The pain didn’t disappear overnight, but I discovered a strength I didn’t know I had.

That’s what Proverbs 31:6 whispers: “Don’t dull your spirit.” Let God strengthen you, even in sorrow.

Walking with the Broken

This verse also reminds us to have compassion for those who are in anguish. Some people’s grief is too deep for worldly comfort, like losing a loved one or facing rejection. In such moments, they don’t need wine; they need presence, prayer, and love.

As women of God, we are called to walk with the broken, to notice their pain, and gently point them toward the true Comforter.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2 (NIV) 

Practical Steps for Freedom

If you’re struggling with alcohol or any form of numbing, freedom is possible through God’s power and practical action:

1. Change your environment. Sometimes freedom begins by stepping away from spaces or relationships that encourage unhealthy habits.
2. Learn to say no. Boundaries protect your peace. The more you practice, the stronger you become.
3. Seek therapy or counseling. Healing is not weakness. Professional guidance can help uncover deep roots of pain.
4. Stay in godly community. We weren’t made to fight alone. Surround yourself with women who pray, encourage, and hold you accountable.
5. Rely on God’s strength. Remember, true freedom comes through His Spirit.

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

Final Reflections

Proverbs 31:6 is both tender and sobering. It acknowledges human suffering but reminds us that numbing can never bring healing. Alcohol may offer temporary escape, but only God gives lasting peace.

So let’s ask ourselves:

• When I’m in pain, where do I run first?
• Am I numbing my sorrow or inviting God into it?
• Do I notice and care for the broken around me?

The call is clear: “Don’t dull your spirit. Don’t waste your destiny.” Let God comfort you, strengthen you, and fill you with His peace. Because alcohol may be for the dying, but “strength, clarity, and peace are for the living, and they are found in Christ.”
I’d love to hear from you, my lovelies! How has God comforted you in seasons of pain or waiting? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments. I’d love to walk this journey with you.