Forgetting Troubles or Facing Them: Lessons from Proverbs 31:7 for Women of Purpose

“Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.” — Proverbs 31:7 (NIV)

This verse follows Lemuel’s mother’s warning about alcohol. She tells her son that kings and leaders should avoid strong drink because it clouds judgment. Then she contrasts that warning with these words about the poor and the distressed: “Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”

At first glance, it might sound like permission. However, upon careful reading, it becomes clear that this is not advice; rather, it is a contrast. Wine is for those who have lost hope, those who cannot see beyond their pain. But for God’s daughters and sons, for leaders and people of purpose, drinking is never the answer.

Understanding the Context

In biblical times, wine was often used for medicinal purposes, to ease pain, calm nerves, or comfort the dying. Proverbs 31:6-7 says:

“Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish. Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.” (NIV)

Notice the order. Alcohol was not meant for celebration here; it was meant for those who had lost hope. Lemuel’s mother was drawing a clear line: alcohol may provide temporary relief for those in despair, but for people called to lead with wisdom and clarity, it is not the answer.

This raises an important question: “When life gets hard, how do I cope? Do I run to temporary escapes, or do I run into God’s presence?”

The Poverty of the Soul

The verse mentions poverty, but it is not limited to finances. There is also poverty of the soul, emotional weariness, spiritual emptiness, or a lack of peace. People often drink or distract themselves not because of financial poverty but because of inner pain.

Numbing becomes dangerous because it delays true healing. The enemy loves to whisper that escape is easier than facing the truth. And numbing does not always come through alcohol. It can look like:

• Food – eating for comfort
• Entertainment – binge watching to avoid reflection
• Workaholism – staying busy to ignore emotions
• Social media – scrolling endlessly to escape loneliness
• Addictions – pornography, gambling, overspending

These may help us forget for a moment, but they never restore us.

I have had seasons where I distracted myself from pain instead of facing it. When the effect wore off, the pain would always return, sometimes even stronger than before. Proverbs 31:7 reminds us that forgetting is not the same as healing.

The Danger of Escape

Years ago, I worked in a bar. I told myself I would not drink, but being in that environment slowly changed me. I started tasting, then drinking regularly. It was not just about alcohol; it was about escape.

The bar was filled with people trying to numb pain, broken marriages, financial struggles, loneliness, and regret. In my own way, I joined them. But the truth is, the more you drink, the deeper you sink. You cannot drink away poverty, whether financial or emotional. Alcohol often worsens it.

I have seen people spend their last money on alcohol, only to fall deeper into despair. It is a cycle: the more you numb, the more problems grow.

The turning point came when I chose to walk away. Changing my environment gave me clarity. I have not touched alcohol for nearly fifteen years now, and it is only by God’s grace. But I will never forget how easy it was to slip and how hard it was to face the pain and begin the process of healing with God.

God’s Alternative to Forgetting

Instead of numbing our pain, Scripture offers something far better: transformation.

 “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” – Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

God does not want us to forget our troubles through escape; He wants to redeem them. Proverbs 31:7 is not advice for us to follow; it is a description of what hopeless people do and a reminder that we are called to something higher.

Why Women of Purpose Can’t Afford to Numb

As women preparing for the future God has called us to, we cannot afford to numb ourselves. If we do not deal with our pain now, we will carry it into our marriages, motherhood, and ministry.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” – Proverbs 14:1 (NIV) 

Escaping pain may feel easier in the moment, but it tears down the very foundation of what God wants to build in our lives.

The Enemy’s Trap

The enemy uses escape as a trap. If he can get us to run to temporary comfort, we will stop running to God. But God breaks cycles. Healing and freedom are possible when we face the truth with Him.

Choosing to Face the Pain

Here is how we can face pain without trying to forget it:

1. Acknowledge the pain – Be honest with yourself and with God.
2. Invite God in – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
3. Find community – Healing happens in a godly community.
4. Replace escape with presence – Choose prayer, worship, journaling, or silence with God.
5. Seek professional help when needed – Counseling and therapy can be God’s tools for healing.

Over the past two years, I have walked through deep grief. I lost two close family members within a year. The pain was heavy, and the temptation to escape was real.

But instead of numbing, I learned to sit with God in my sorrow. Sometimes I cried until I had no more tears. Sometimes I sat in silence. Other times, I worshiped through the pain.

Now, looking back, I see how He carried me. The pain I felt in 2023 is not the same pain I feel in 2025. God has been healing me slowly but surely. The wounds are no longer raw, and I now see His faithfulness written all over my story.

The Cost of Escape

Let’s be honest, numbing is not just spiritually dangerous; it is financially destructive too.

Proverbs 23:21 (NIV) warns, “Drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”

The more we spend on escape, the less we have for building. Alcohol and distractions drain our finances, energy, and relationships. They offer momentary comfort but lasting loss.

The Only Lasting Solution

Drinking only numbs; it never heals. True healing comes only from God.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

When God heals you, He does not just restore you; He equips you to help others. Your scars become testimonies of His grace.

Final Thoughts

Proverbs 31:7 paints a picture of people who drink to forget their troubles. It reflects the human desire to escape pain, but for us, it is not an invitation; it is a warning.

Forgetting only lasts for a night, but God’s healing lasts a lifetime. He alone can turn our sorrow into strength and our pain into purpose.

So I ask you today, are you trying to forget your troubles, or are you inviting God to heal them? Forgetting fades, but God’s healing remains.

Have you ever found yourself trying to forget pain instead of facing it? How has God helped you heal instead of escape? Share your thoughts in the comments, I would love to hear from you.